What If I Never Had Finished What I Started?

What If you had never finished what you are started?What if I never wrote my memoir? It seems like my life is divided into two parts. I will call the first part, Pre-Memoir. Pushing the button and sending my manuscript to the publisher was such a major step. I was excited, even elated that ten years of hard work was finally completed. My book was ready to fly off the shelves.

 Then came the months of working on the cover, the back cover, the forward and acknowledge pages – this was more work than writing the book. Why did this have to be so difficult? Alas, finally it was done and ready for print. When the day arrived and I opened the box containing all those beautiful books that represented my life in 288 pages….well, it was a bit much to take. I was an author. I published a book. Now, my life would be literally, an open book, and totally exposed. I got scared. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it.

There were so many hardships, so much pain and so many disappointments. Dredging up all that mess was the first step and then putting pen to paper and actually writing about it was quite another. But, and this is a very big but, I had no idea what was going to happen when it actually was in print for the world to read. The questions were non-stop. What if no one liked it? What if no one bought it? What if? Now I was in Post-Memoir from where I could never return.

My fears were short-lived as the reviews started coming in. I honestly had no idea it was that compelling of a story. After all, it was just my life but most of the reviewers said that they could not put it down, literally. They had to finish it to be sure I survived. Another set of reviewers were encouraged to know that no matter what you go through, if I made it, they could as well.  I have had people from all over the globe thank me for sharing, for encouraging and giving them hope in hopeless situations.

The two negative reviews I received both said the same thing – they believed I made it up because there was just too much trauma for any one woman to handle. I assured them it was even more unbelievable than I shared because I knew it would be very difficult to handle for most.

What I never realized was that the work involved in the Post-Memoir stage is much greater than the Pre-Memoir one. I am working much harder at promotion than I ever did at writing. I want to write the sequel but there are only so many hours in any given day and then the next day fast approaches with it’s demands.

Up to a few months ago, I knew diddily-squat about social media other than Facebook was a place to communicate with friends.  I thought Twitter was something you did when you got excited.  Google just plain scared me and Google plus sounded horrifying.  Now, these are part of my day, every day, day in and day out, all day and all night…..does it ever end?

I keep researching, learning and trying to understand and implement all the suggestions.  It is more than a bit overwhelming but then I remember why I did this in the first place and I know I will continue to persevere and complete what I have started.

I am sure it will eventually balance out or am I living in a dream world?

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Meet Carol Graham

Carol Graham has written 23 posts in this blog.

I am a wife, mother of two and grandmother of three. Family is of first importance, which includes many 4 legged members. Currently, I own and help operate two jewelry stores with my husband. My passion is being a health coach, which I have been doing for over 30 years. I survived cancer 40 years ago using alternative methods, which started me on the road to better health. Another great passion is public speaking. I am a motivational speaker that has much to share in the area of survival against all odds. I lived an intense life of outrageous traumatic events, always a fighter and a winner over cancer, rape, marital abuse, jail, loss of child, huge financial losses from fraud and greed of others. I strongly believe that laughter will get you through almost anything. I have just finished my memoir - Battered Hope - which was released this past summer. This fast paced memoir reads with all the elements of a good novel – character, conflict, suspense, and resolution. Follow my family through insurmountable hardships and witness the tenacity it takes for me to survive. It is a story of hope, perseverance, and faith.

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