Horse Pucky – revisitedby Dave Cottrell
Horse Pucky, a term that is considerably more polite than the alternative.
“Horse Pucky” was the title of an article I wrote almost an eternity ago in internet time. Perhaps those who grew up in warmer climes or wealthier families than I did will not understand the term, “Horse Pucky.”
It is, I hope, a considerably more polite term than the one often used to describe some of the absolutely worthless and felonious money-snatching “business opportunities” I’ve been constantly deleting as I clean out my inboxes.
Here is a real gem, advertising a new course put together by someone I KNOW needs to take a course, himself:
“It’s a complete A-Z training program to guide you step-by-step to internet success.” Yeah, right! Horse Pucky!! And to top it all off, look at what he tagged on at the end (errors included): “P.S: Make no mistake — This is a blueprint to internet success. Many people have tried this system and is(sic) making money part-time or full-time.” Sadly, I KNOW this guy – don’t throw your money away. (This guy is actually a friend – imagine what I might say if he was an enemy! LOL!!)
How about this one: “I Just Couldn’t Recommend It to You” (Why? Because it was priced at $1500 and I felt really stupid that I actually paid that much for something that really didn’t work properly, anyway, and I didn’t want to admit that I bought this Horse Pucky for such a ridiculous price…. But NOW that the market has been flooded by suckers -I mean – clients who paid way to much for an inferior product – I now want to recommend that you waste only $97 on it…)
Guess what? For virtually ANY marketing software or ebook, program, etc, all you need to do to realize just how useless it is AND to get it free is to wait a while. You probably won’t have to wait very long before it’s being given away as a bonus for some other worthless “secret success formula.”
Here’s one I just can’t wait to sign up for… “I Need 200 Success Stories” My goal is to take 200 average people and show them how to make $1,057.50 every week within their first 30 days.” Follow the links, and you find out it’s SO valuable that it’s now being given away on an email capture page… Folks, if it was REAL it would be worth a fortune.
Do people really believe some of this stuff? No wonder they have no money and huge credit card bills. Another email promises: “Ryan & Andrew can show you how to do nothing and generate over $10,000 a month.” No further further comment is needed on that piece of Horse Pucky!
Here’s one from the archives from a famous internet “guru”: “If You Can Click Your Mouse, Then I Guarantee You’ll Make At Least $1,000 In As Little As 48 Hours Starting From Scratch.” If you part with the $39 for this 825 page ebook, I can at least guarantee one thing – you’ll be poorer by $39!
Note also that when you actually read through the long, LOOOOONG sales page, you’ll find that he actually hides a little disclaimer in amongst all the hype that tells you that not everyone will actually make the kind of money he’s talking about…. Wow! Shock! Big surprise! Not!
In fact, most people will fall asleep long before they even get through the first hundred pages…
More Horse Pucky – pure scam – “Turn $30 into $279,300 IT IS POSSIBLE! Anyone can do it!” If anyone could do it, they would… Most people don’t have what it takes to scam – I mean sucker – I mean sell other people on this horse pucky…
Next, here’s one from a super nice, altruistic gentleman who just feels SO bad that so many people are getting scammed and losing money that he’s taken it upon himself to just let you in on all the secrets that all the other money-grubbing gurus are keeping to themselves: “Make up to $250 in 60 Minutes, over and over again, sitting at home in your pajamas!” For $49.97, you can make him feel all warm and fuzzy for letting you in on this “secret.” Horse Pucky! Beware of ANY so-called wealth generating program that promises that you don’t have to sell anything! If you’re not selling something, you’re not in business and you’re NOT making money!
I could go on ad nauseam… about so-called “bootleg videos” of internet “gurus” spilling their guts, guaranteed free “targeted” traffic, unlimited wealth “secrets,” How to get your keywords listed in the top 10 on Google (oh this is a beautiful scam – they choose the keywords for you…), and so on.
The facts are that in order to make money online, just as in the offline world, it requires a product or service (an affiliate program is a great place to start), and plenty of learning, research, hard work, persistence, advertising and more hard work. Any program that promises instant riches with no work is simply… Horse Pucky.
Horse Pucky – noun – frozen, puck-shaped object left behind by a large solid-hoofed herbivorous mammal of the genus Equus (a horse) – used by farm kids for playing hockey as long as the temperatures remain below freezing…